|
|
| *odd montone computer generated voice* "planation funk.." dun
dun dun dund udn wow...i danced my ass off today. This cool guy named Geno...that had been like dancers w/mtv type people taught us this freaky funk dance. it was REALLY HARD....but there were these chicks that could just pick it right up. it made me so jelous, i just wish they could touch me and like make me that good too. i also have really gross thighs....shakey shakey...i hate my legs =(( but yes...drill team camp kix ass. it was kinda weird cos in one dance i was in I think i'm standing right next to ryan's ex girlfriend angel. i'm pretty sure it's her...but if it's not i woulnd't be surprised. and i'd be a little relieved. i guess i feel like....a lot of competition.....for some odd reason. i really want to be able to dance better than her. i'm trying really hard...i keep repeating "i am the best...i am the best" inside my head....as concieted as it sounds =). but yeah...and from drill team camp today...i had to ride home w/emily. which was a little awkward...thank god for the vast amount of people in the car. otherwise it would have been weird. Not so much for me cos i'm completely and utterly over james...but she's real stuck up towards me now. oh well, i still think she's an amusing sweet little girl....jus a bit stuck up. i was going to stay and go home w/lindsey after we went swimming....but i had no suit...and i was getting really tired toward the end of the day and wanted to go home. lindsey is a sweet girl though =) she's really amusing. speaking of swimming...i went w/amanda, em, kristy, seth norris, and me on friday night. i wish ryan would have come. anywho.....seth and i were the only ones w/any clothes on....amanda and emily just jumped right in bare ass naked...with out a care in the world. and kristy got in after a little coaxing. she's so cute...she's also very shy where she has no reason to be. but who am i to talk, i had on my underwear cos my lower half is evil. it was amusing though...a lot of fun. and then last night ryan spent the night at my house...and took me to drill team this morning. he brought up the *marriage thing* in an e-mail he sent me. it made me a little sad...but i guess i can see where he's coming from. the marriage thing was the fact that last thursday he said something about asking me to marry him next year after i graduated. the thought made me EXTREMELY on cloud nine...but like he said we are to young. or not......he'll i'd get married when i was 18 if i knew i'd found the right person. no problem. hell.....in my head ryan is the right person. I love him so much....like.....a lot more than i've ever loved anyone. cos really and honestly all i want is his happiness. thats all that really matters to me....so if he's happy with me GREAT....if he's happier with out me....i'll still love him but i'll let him go without a fight if it'll make him happier. he's so great....he's so wonderful. it was nice this morning to just wake up with his arms still around me. it was nice to wake up and have my arms still around him. he told me i made him feel special and thats like.....wow. god i love that boy to pieces. i don't even get to see him for a while and i don't think he's gonna miss me at all. he's going to a limp bizkit concert w/his friends tomarrow night....i hope he has fun......i hope in his drunken state he wont cheat on me. but i do hope he has fun w/jon and eric and all those other crazy bastards he hangs out with. well they're not bastards but....ya know....sometimes they take him away from me =((. oh well, i love him and i'm too clingly a girlfriend. oh well...i love him to death. i would marry him if he asked. i just don't want him to do anything he'll regret. speaking of regrets......a little girl that i grew up with megan....she's such a cutie....like wants to get to know me better. i'm all for it......i'm just so busy. she said after she read all of my poetry and what not she felt like she didn't even know me anymore. and i do like people to know me....so i'm all for it =). she is a cutie thought...her and her lil sis are so sweet. I get to go swimming w/kristy tomarrow...ladedadedada....your jelous i know you are =) |